Do I have to pay taxes on my OnlyFans, tell me?

– Rosealeen, Ballydesmond.

My neighbor is an accountant, he’s boring like a Saturday night in Fermoy. (And this is BL – Before Lockdown.) I said, any advice for a Cork woman who comes across as a complete eejit to the people of Kerry? He said, are you going into the Rose of Tralee?

It’s getting anxious on our WhatsApp group, Douglas Road Stunners who would like to know why you are letting us out of your bubble. Laura_15grandCargoBike said that no one she knows is listening to a word Tony Holohan says anymore because to be honest it doesn’t suit them.

Fifi_RecycledDiamonds said she bubbled up with Emer Cronin-Buckley and his kids because they had a pool so that’s the end of Fifi in our group because Emer’s husband only went to Colaiste Criost Ri. (We think they might have won the lotto, but it’s so hard to prove.)

I’m so sick of my kids I’m actually thinking about joining the Navy even though Kiera with a K said it was just for Norries. So, do we have the right to form a bubble with people, especially if they are of the same social class as us?

– Jenni, Douglas Road.

I checked the HSE website there for advice. If I had to sum up the current advice it would be, move to another country because there won’t be an ounce of fun here until 2025.

Come on, what’s the story of bringing my old doll on vacation to Donegal? I know it’s shocking from afar, but Budgie was up there last summer with his old doll and he said it was like Kerry without all the cunning and the fake friendship, do you know that kind of a way .

The only thing he warned me about is the guys from Donegal have these gorgeous sexy accents that make them look like enchanted baboons who might take your old doll from you with an ‘oh, how are you, my love? ‘.

He said it was basically Daniel O’Donnell without the moans and that he was lucky to bring his Jill back to Cork with him as things were going. So like, are there any precautions I should take if we go up there in July?

– Dowcha Donie, Blackpool

Don’t tell me about precautions in Donegal. #Itchy. I called the Posh Cousin over there and said, what would you use to protect yourself from a Donegal accent. She said, I would recommend a good muff. I said, a good what !!? She said, ear muffs. I said, oh yes!

Hello, old stock. There’s almost nothing left to do now that Micheál Martin has called the military to stop Shorty Cudmore from landing his Lear Jet in the marina, so you have a good chance of bumping into a beautifully spoken Cork Millionaire on the Promenade. of the English in Nice.

Either way, the devil does work for idle hands, you know yourselves, didn’t Bunty Harrington start buying items from lower order websites and then getting delivered at my door. Now I’m sure someone in Wilton or Skehard Road would be happy to get a package from Sports Direct or Argos, but if news of my deliveries gets known I’m toast here on Blackrock Road. Do you know how I could get Bunty arrested?

– Reggie, Blackrock Road, I’m not averse to violence.

My uncle went into private security because he didn’t even get the points for Regional Tech. I said, what would you use to threaten someone on Blackrock Road? He said, social housing.

Dia duit, this is Phelim here from the Cork branch of We’re Watching Your Every Move, WWYEM. I saw a headline in the media saying it’s the students to blame for the latest wave of Covid, with their bed breaks and Tik-Tok videos. Well that’s all the same and us condemned to a life of monogamy, if we’re lucky, which I’m not really. So on behalf of Wwyem, I hereby call for all students to be locked in their accommodation until we have reached Zero Covid, with protective devices on their genitals. Is there a chance that you want to meet me for a walk, 2 meters away, masks?

– Phelim, Route du Magazine.

I thought I preferred taking the Dungarvan Sewer Tour, until I took a look at your Facebook page. Why didn’t you mention that you are Cork’s answer to Jamie Dornan, God inconvenience idiot? So that’s a yes! Shaky Bridge, 2 p.m., Sunday.